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Monthly Archives: April 2010


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Pregnancy & motherhood, it’s  something I’m quite familiar to. In my teenage years I practically helped my sister during her pregnancy at the age 16. From dealing on how to tell everyone that she’s pregnant, to coping to feeling all the hormonal rush & imbalance, I’ve witnessed it all. Imagine a teenager being pregnant without any knowledge in motherhood and having enough resources of her own (and her then boyfriend now husband) to take full financial responsibility of taking care & raising a baby. My sister’s pregnancy was totally unplanned. Living a carefree life then one day it all turn around, she needed to be focused.

People always thought I’d follow my sister’s foot steps. Well, I did follow her. It was her who actually did commercials & print ad stints, I just used to tag along & was her alalay in all her shoots when school permitted to.

But on the being-a-teenage-mom just when everybody expected I’d be, they were all wrong. I didn’t Ctrl+C my sister when it came to that. I’ve proven to everyone that I was different but did not brag that I was better.

Came the time I met Mr. Go through the usual friend of a friend,  we both knew our relationship’s the one for keeps but I didn’t expect we’d tie the not after 3 years of dating. To my surprise he knew, everything that he planned & see himself in the the next years of his (including mine) life, he pretty much accomplished.  Get married after 3-5 years of dating, have a baby after a few months or a year, even his career. Everything was on track.

But we didn’t know that getting pregnant wasn’t easy. We thought all along it was easy peasy, given that my sister got pregnant & everybody else who’s not trying. Maybe that’s the problem, we were trying too hard. Of all the times we’ve been “careful” in not getting me pregnant during our dating years, now that we’re carefree it didn’t do us any good. A few people advised us to just let things be in it’s natural flow.  We were to eager & to excited to build a family of our own. We were impatient, assuming & pretty much getting stressed out about it. So after 6 months of trying, I was delayed for a few days but we didn’t bother get excited about it for it already happened to me a month before & got my period then. But a week has passed & I was somewhat anxious about it. Then after getting a pregnancy test, there it is two red horizontal lines vividly seen. Yay! The moment I showed the kit to Mr. Go, he immediately smiled, did a hi-five and said “good job!” & kissed me. Haha. Funny I know but I guess after months of trying & really wanting to get pregnant I think “good job” is just appropriate 🙂

"the unexpected joys of motherhood"

So if  you hear stories about pregnancy & motherhood and you’re initial reaction would be fear of the unknown & the pain that goes with it, don’t say you don’t wanna get pregnant. You might take it back once you’ve fallen in the pit of how impatient & utterly excited you are to be a preggo and soon a mom.

Pregnancy & motherhood, it is different in every woman and as much as you want to press Ctrl+C you just can’t. The only thing you can Ctrl+C & Ctrl+V is the unexplained happiness every mother has felt right after they hear their babies cry for the first time.

flower power

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Okay i don’t wanna sound like a Hippie but this blog isn’t all about Flower power in the late 60’s & early 70’s. Notice how “in” flower prints are lately? Well, they’re everywhere!

I remember my grandmothers on both sides of my family wearing flower prints on flowy dress, in short daster! Although my nanay (grandmom from mom side) & my mama (grandmom from dad side) both came from different cultural backgrounds  (nanay from a Spanish line & mama from a Chinese line) this type of clothing enticed these ladies from different cultures, maybe because they were influenced by the Filipino culture? Probably, but whatever the reason, daster is a piece of clothing older women keep as one of their staple clothes.

"my lolas' favorite clothing"

Hokay, so even before our generation floral prints are huge in fashion. I remember how my lolas would catch me using the saya (bottom part) of her their daster, they even use it to wipe dry their hands after doing the laundry,dishes or even just after washing their hands. I think my lolas possessed a wide collection of almost all imaginable print, color & pattern of flower dasters (I wonder where their dasters are?!). Fast forward to this decade, flower power is back. Well, in a modern way that we bagets (naks! bagets talaga?) okay fine, that our generation & the next generation seriously consider including in our wardrobe staple.  Funny how fashion really comes & goes. As what Heidi Klum would say:

"in fashion,one day you're in the next day you're out"

I think my mom who’s in her 50’s is slowly rejoining the flower power. She’s starting to like floral prints again & see them in a different light. She’s used to seeing her mom wear & flash those dasters and now she’s seeing the floral dresses everywhere. I asked her if she wants the daster type of prints or the one that’s “in” right now. She’s betting on neither, but insisted on getting some random unnoticed flower print that suits her style.

I confess I only have one floral print top in my closet & I use it as a pambahay . I admit I’m not a fan of prints. I find it hard to mix & match and that I don’t consider prints to be staple (although I do have some stripped printed long sleeves) But one day, as I go through my closet, I realized it’s time to buy one. Then again if I buy one now it’ll look like I’m riding with what’s “in” right now and I’m not, I’d like to think of myself as somewhat a trend-setter in my own right. I am not a fashionista and I don’t go with trends rather I make my own one. So now that I’ve realized that I want floral prints, I ask myself am I becoming a fashion victim?

Maybe now is exactly the right time to update my wardrobe whether the clothes I want are  in fashion or out, it doesn’t matter. As what Yves Saint Laurent would say:

"fashion fades, style is eternal"

If there’s something I’ve learned its that these clichés are true:  “It  really doesn’t matter what you choose to wear as long as your comfortable & confident in wearing it” and “It doesn’t matter what everybody else thinks”.

So if my mom is confident enough to know her own style at the age of 50, then so can I! Now being in the new chapter of my life, it’s time I show my style & not my fashion.

‘Coz flower prints then remind me so much of my lolas’ daster but now, I think I can give a new meaning to it. Hello flower power! . 😉

accidental naturalization

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"the start of a blissful domestication"

Based from my comment on the post » Sunday Morning of all the things I have ever imagined happening to me & my life, being blissfully domesticated at the age of 23 was never one of them.

Although I have experienced some of the “physical” attributes of domestication one thing is for sure, that I wasn’t prepared for the emotional side of it.

I’ve learned to take care of a baby when I was 18. I’ve taken care of my sister’s daughter from the moment she came home from the hospital up until before she turned a year old, it was because my brother-in-law was working away & my sister needed help. Since I am fond of babies I gave it a try & actually liked it. It was our mom who taught me how to feed, change nappy, burp, and bathe a baby.  I was in charge of the night shift, since I am a night person everything was  easy peasy.

When it comes to home making I think I am also pretty good at it. Mom really loves fixing the house & I together with my other sister are her assistants when it comes to it. She taught us well when it comes to proper decoration, assortment,organizing & storage of things.

Cooking on the other hand needed no forced lesson from my mom. We love eating & cooking is one of my mom’s specialty. She’s a kapampangan & it is proven that Pampangeneos are excellent cooks! It’s second nature for her to cook & for her it’s not a task at all. I remember my sisters & I would watch our mom cook & would let us assist her & actually earn from it during summer. With that I’ve learned to marinate & cook steak at the age of 13 and bake at the aged 10.

So if you ask me, what’s left to be accomplished? I say the emotional side of being domesticated was something I wasn’t prepared for. Sure all these “chores” are easy to do once you’ve learned & mastered it but nobody can teach you how to feel & react to things & issues that comes with being domesticated. Of course advices & stories from parents, relatives & friends are helpful but at the end of the day it’s between you, your husband, & children but most especially, it’s the emotional battle within yourself that you have to face & figure out.

I’ve always included in my prayers that if there’s something I need strength for it’s not to endure the physical pain but the emotional struggle that I might have to face.

Yes, everything seemed natural for me & being “accidentally domesticated” at a young age by my sisters & mother really helped me to become a mature person. It’s the emotional naturalization that I needed to learn for myself, and it began when Mr. Go proposed to me 2 years ago, now that’s blissful domestication. 🙂

what’s with the name?

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"we're like a pair of slippers,one cannot go about without the other"

You all may be wonderin’ why in all my online sites I use the same username: chiniebeenie. My nick name is actually quite common & a few people I know have the same one as mine (Jackie). Also, Mr.Go’s brother’s girlfriend is also named Jackie. So you’re probably guessing it’s my second name? No Chinie isn’t my second name, in fact I don’t even have a second name. Okay here’s the story behind it, when Mr. Go (husband) & I were dating 5 years ago there’s this one quote that he sent me, he’s really not the kind of guy who would use & copy quotes or cheesy lines just to be sweet, I personally think that the saying “action speaks louder than words” is very much applicable to his personality. So when I read this quote, I find it that he really meant what he said. The quote he sent  me was something like this:

“Life’s journey may require  you to have tens or even hundreds of pairs of shoes,  but at the end of the day no matter how much you like the tens & hundreds of shoes you have it’s your pair of slippers that you come home to… You know I would be honored to be your other pair of slippers.”

Upon reading the message, we immediately talked & I teased him of how cheesy he was. I even called him “slipper-flipper guy” but being the jolly-funny guy that he is, he eventually taunt me & started teasing me back saying “chiniebeenie” . I asked why chiniebeenie? He just simply said “coz you’re my other pair of slippers. You know, from the word tsinelas?!”. I started laughing out loud but instead of him stopping, he insisted that he’ll officially call me “chiniebeenie”

So that’s the story behind my nick name chiniebeenie, yes it may be cheesy & corny but that’s just how it is. 🙂

how it all started

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So, this is what a blog looks like. Hello there wordpress.

It suddenly occurred to me that I wanna create my own blog, since I have been going online everyday checking mails, facebook, twitter, even doing online shopping, so I think it’s time for my writing to be techie too. It’ll help much for the environment that one person will use less paper & that there would be no missing journal for me! So I choose wordpress for this reason: It easy & has it’s Iphone app! I could update my blog on the go. YAY! 🙂

Writing for me is a therapy (aside from shopping!). I don’t know if a normal person has so many thoughts going on in his/her head but I know I do. Back in the days (wow, i sounded like an oldie) when all you needed was a pen & a paper, I would always have one whenever I go and just randomly write whatever I think of whether it’s a word, a sentence, a description of an image or just anything at all that crosses my mind. I also remember writing on our house’s  walls, stairs, doors even windows when I was a kid. Writing then seemed to be my second nature next to breathing!

I have been writing since i was in grade school & I developed it when I was in high school. I remember competing & winning in an inter-school writing competition under the feature category. The topic is about POWER. Power in any form and in any way. So i thought, what is the ultimate representation of power? GOD. Yes, my title was: “I am God, or so I thought I am”. Too bad i lost copy of my winning piece 😦

Sadly, I’ve lost my journals somewhere in transit while we moved from one city to another, too bad I would’ve wanted my daughter to see them so that she’ll have an idea on how crazy her mom is but that’s another story 😉 Now, I think my wordpress would last until my daughter’s old enough to create & have her own. Well, I am officially a blogger! YAY ME! 🙂